Kan-hate West

The president called him a jackass! I think its official by everyone's standards: Kan-hate has fucked up now!

I call him Kan-hate cause that's what he does, he hates on people. He's a big hater. And for the first time, his hating has gotten him into trouble. All the other times Kan-hate has done something retarded, people try to make excuses for him like its ok because he's so talented and gifted. Now, I'm not hating on the man's skills cause its undeniable that he's got some. But that's no reason to look the other way when he goes off the deep end. Hell Michael Jackson was gifted beyond comprehension but no one wanted to cut him any slack when he doing whatever he was doing. Oh but let Kan-hate blurt out some retarded mess and people are saying "but that's just Kanye. The man is gifted." SO WHAT? Your talents give you a free pass to be a jackass? Of all the things he's done, the Taylor Swift mess was (in my opinion) no different than any of the other stunts he's pulled. But what sets this one apart from the rest is the unanimous "BOOs" across the board. Before, when people wanted to make excuses, it was mostly his fans doing so. But after the Taylor Swift incident, EVERYONE including fans, think he went too far. So before, he had some kind of support and now he has none. That's why he wants to apologize (fake). He's never apologized before for anything he did. He never showed remorse before. But this incident had more far reaching consequences than he could have imagined. THE PRESIDENT CALLED HIM A JACKASS! Nobody cares about how talented he is now. Everyone finally realizes how much of a dick he's always been. He has lost fans and credibility. He HAS to apologize and show remorse to save face. If he didn't, that would be the end of his career.

But you also have to blame these shows for allowing him to do these things. As soon as he was walking across the stage towards Taylor, I said "why did they let him on stage? Where is security?" Then I said, "why would she give him the mic?" Had that been me on stage, he wouldn't have even touched the mic. I would have told him "No one called your name so you have no business being on stage. Keep your comments to yourself, go back to your seat, and you can blog about it tomorrow." These award shows put his seat right next to the stairs, close to the stage so he can have easy access to do some buffoonery. You see other people who win awards and their seats are like 15 rows back. Kan-hate's seat is usually in the first 5 rows right in front of the stairs. Then MTV wants to save face by saying they kicked him out afterwards. But where was your security to stop him beforehand? Everybody knows when Kan-hate heads towards the stage, he's probably gonna do something stupid, especially if his name wasn't called to be on stage in the first place.

My ultimate dislike for Kan-hate is his arrogance. The way I figure it, considering all that has happened in his life, he should be the most humble person ever. He got his start by nearly losing his life and instead of being grateful for still being amongst the living, he goes around crying about what HE says he "deserves" as if the world owes him something. His arrogance kept building and building because people kept making excuses for him, justifying his actions by his talent. I knew that something would happen to knock him down a peg or two. And then his mom died. I really hate that it happened to him because losing a mother is hard on anyone. But I thought, maybe this will bring him back to earth and humble him and make him more appreciative of what he has. NOPE! He had his moment to grieve but then it was right back to the same ol' Kan-hate. Still ungrateful, still a hater. It still remains to be seen whether or not this incident has really changed him. With him saying he wants to take the crown as the new king of pop, I doubt it. But the world has a way of coming around and eventually, he will get humbled but maybe not in a good way. Evil never goes unpunished.

Paper, Scissors, Rock, Lizard, Spock

This is a variation of the classic Rock, Paper, Scissors game that introduces two new items. The "Spock" is the Vulcan salute and the "Lizard" is a sock puppet mouth. In addition to the regular RPS rules, here's how to incorporate Spock and Lizard:

Spock smashes scissors and vaporizes rock.
Spock is poisoned by lizard and disproved by paper.
Lizard poisons Spock and eats paper.
Lizard is crushed by rock and decapitated by scissors.

Got it?

Another variation is Wood, Fire, Water. Fire burns wood. Wood floats on water. Water puts out Fire.

Now go find someone to play with

Curse or Coincidence?

Some people say that the 25th day of the month is cursed because of celebrity deaths occurring on that day.

Michael Jackson - June 25, 2009
Farrah Fawcett - June 25, 2009
Sky Saxon - June 25, 2009
James Brown - December 25, 2006
Lisa (Left Eye) Lopes - April 25, 2002
Aaliyah Haughton - August 25, 2001
Rodger from Zapp Band - April 25, 1999

Its a strange coincidence yes but I wouldn't go so far as to call it a curse. Some people even wanna put Jesus on this list but everybody (should) know that he didn't die on December 25th.

There's also a so called curse on the month of June. This year alone:

David Carradine - June 3
Ola Hudson (mother of Slash) - June 5
Tomoji Tanabe (Japanese supercentenarian, oldest living man 113) - June 19
Antonio Fernandes de Castro (Portuguese supercentenarian, 111) - June 22
Ed McMahon - June 23
Farrah Fawcett - June 25
Michael Jackson - June 25
Billy Mays - June 28
Fred Travalena - June 28
Lucia Lauria Vigna (Italian supercentenarian, oldest person in Europe, 113) - June 28

and the Wikipedia lists hundreds more from all over the world.

You tell me: curse or coincidence?

The Many Faces of Bacon

Let me first state that I don't eat pork. But it seems to me that bacon is like an all purpose food. People put bacon in damn near everything and I mean EVERYTHING. As a person who doesn't eat pork, sometimes its hard to find simple things without the bacon or pork. For instance, I once went to Dairy Queen and ordered a grilled chicken salad. It had bacon on it. I called to asked why is there bacon on a chicken salad, and the lady told me thats just how their salads come. (?????) Another time, I was at a club and ordered a chicken sandwich. When they brought it out, there were 4 strips of chicken and two thick slices of country ham. Again, I asked why is there ham on a chicken sandwich, and again, I got the same response: thats how THEY make them.

So anyways, every now and again, I see unusual things that have bacon in them. I figured, somebody has to be buying this stuff cause its everywhere. So I decided to compile this list for the bacon lover. You might find a new favorite from this. These are actual edible food dishes and products. Just google them if you dont believe me.

Bacon Baklava
Bacon Chocolate
Bacon Chocolate Chip Cookies
Bacon and Peanut Butter Sandwich
Maple Bacon Lollipops
Maple Bacon Cake
Maple Bacon Buttercream
Bacon Mayo ("Baconaisse")
Bacon Salt
Bacon Bread
Bacon Wrapped Tofu/Tofurkey (why???)
Bacon Ice Cream
Chicken Fried Bacon
Bacon Toffee
Gummy Bacon
Bacon Flavored Toothpicks
Bacon Vodka (seriously)
Bacon Gum
Bacon Lip Balm
Bacon Brittle

And it doesn't stop there but I have to cause this list is turning my stomach.

DJs Shouldn't Have Mics

I thought the job of a DJ is to spin records, make the crowd dance. Why is it that nowadays, DJs get a mic and think they can run their mouths over the music? And they don't wanna talk about music, they wanna talk about anything and everything besides music! There is this one DJ, who I won't name for 2 reasons: first, he's not worth it; second, I can't remember anyways so he ain't nobody special. This dude is all over the music talking about he's better than any DJ in America when you can tell he hasn't even DJ-ed outside the south side of Atlanta! He said something about the many names he has that were all given to him as if thats supposed to mean something. Dude, nobody can even remember you by any of those names so who cares???? Then he wanna talk about some text message he just got. Negro, can you please shut the hell up and play the damn music. Hell, the music he's playing is garbage to begin with but I damn sure don't wanna hear your monkey ass interrupting the music about bullshit. Your job is the play music. You're not the host of the show so nobody wants to listen to you. You weren't hired to be a comedian to keep them lame ass dry ass jokes to yourself. Nobody is laughing but you. And let's be real. REAL DJS spin wax records not plastic CDs! You do know they still make and sell records for any music that is put on CD? And since we're being real, you ain't worth no million bucks DJing in a dark corner of a hole in the wall club. The club don't even have a booth, so you have get a table and a desk lamp and an extension cord running from the kitchen. And you ain't even mixing the music, just skipping to the next song. It sounds more like a mixed cd is playing instead of a DJ doing his damn job. So how can you really be worth anything more than 3 figures??? YOU SUCK! I can't see anyone actually paying you real money. I think you work of the barter system. You DJ at the club and in exchage they give you free food and drinks. Anybody that pays you money has to be desperate! Hell I can put CDs in a multichanger and press random and put out a better mix than you! I hope you have a day job.

HAPPY 420

April Showers Bring...........SNOW???

I was born and raised in Georgia and one thing that you always bet on is our unpredictable weather. Seasons don't matter here. Its April and we have snow! We have 75 degree days in January. Georgia has like a Bermuda Triangle of weather going on. One day it will be nice and sunny. The next day it will get super hot. The next day it will rain. The next day its cloudy and cold. The next day its snow flurries and slush. The next day its sunny again. The meteorologists can sometimes get it right but when they're wrong, its so bad. Today it is snowing. The weather report just said it'll be cold today, didn't mention snow. And when it snows here, its not like snow up north. The snow here is snow as long as its in the air. Once it touches something it melts. So now you got cold wet asphalt. If it gets cold enough to freeze that, then you'll have black ice and accidents and traffic everywhere. But usually it'll just stay wet. The snow here hardly ever sticks and when it does its not much. It'll just looks like somebody salted the city. It was 75 degrees Saturday, raining Monday, and now its snowing on Tuesday. By Thursday or Friday, the temperature will be back in the 70s again. And how do you dress for the weather? Easy, you never pack away any season's clothes. Most people have put up their winter clothes and coats and stuff cause its supposed to be spring. Layering short sleeve shirts under a jacket doesn't work when you're standing at the bus stop or the train station where it can be extremely windy. If you have a car with working heat and AC, you're good. Most people that do, dress how they want. The key is knowing whether or not you'll be outside in the elements. If you're working in an office all day and you'll only go outside to go to lunch or go home, then you dress for the office not the weather. If you work outside, you dress for the weather. If you ride public transportation, you dress for the weather. You have to mix and match your winter and summer clothes here. You just never know. There have been times where the forecast calls for warm sunny day and out of nowhere it'll rain hard as hell. Its crazy. The snow has stopped for now. We'll see how it goes for the rest of the day.

WTF is a GOON?

I don't know if this started with the #1 gay rapper or not but after I heard his "what's a goon to a goblin" line, I keep hearing dudes calling themselves goons. Plies had a line in his new song saying "I'm your goon, you my goonette" (???). Seriously??? COME ON! Well in his case its different cause Plies looks like the deformed offspring of a goon and a goblin, but still. You telling me females are swooning off this shit? Any female who does fall for it, is just as stupid and ignorant as the retard who calls himself that. What happened to being a man? You can't be a man if you're a goon. I was visiting a friend once and he was talking to one of his neighbors. This dude had live in girlfriend AND another girlfriend who had her own place AND a new baby from a third girl. All of whom know about each other (dude would have them all over at the same time!). Anyways, his new baby was a boy and he was telling my friend "this lil nigga gone be a goon." I'm not even gonna go into all the things wrong with that sentence. But I asked my friend why he doesn't try to talk some sense into the dude. My friend said, besides it not being his business, it would be useless. Just from the conversations that they've had before, he knows that nobody can talk sense into the dude. (Oh yeah, the dude was only 19 at the time!). But its that kind of ignorance that breeds more ignorance and thats why we have guys wanting to be stupid. Yeah, they WANT to be stupid. Thats why they drop out of school in pursuit of being a drug kingpin or the next rap star. And the way music is going down the toilet today, the latter is becoming easier to do for the less intelligent. Its getting harder for people who actually make music thats about something to get deals cause the radio is being flooded with garbage (See my previous post called Booty Sounds). Anyways, anyone who wants to be called a goon or goblin or anything besides a man, gets no respect from me.

NOT AN APRIL FOOLS JOKE

678-999-8212

Know what this is? One guy posted this on 800notes.com:

Timothy

I keep getting calls about some satanic club or some gay cult from this number. They keep asking me if I would like to buy some "Soldier Boy" which is completely and utterly disgusting! I have never in my life been so insulted! They have called many times and I am tempted to call an attorney! I DO NOT WISH TO BUY ANY GAY SEX FROM "SOLDIER BOYS"! PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD ABOUT THIS DISGRACEFUL GROUP!

(still lmao on that)

The number is said on the song Kiss Me Thru The Phone by Soulja Boy. If you call, you hear a pre-recorded message that makes you think you're talking to someone when you're not. But the service keeps your number and sends out mass text messages to you. Some people have said they've gotten calls back too. Anyways, just because Mike Jones gave out his real number, stupid people think its Soulja Boy's real phone number. But then again, alot of the people who listen to his stuff (i dont think its music), they are gullible enough to believe it.

Febreeze Is Not A Substitute For a Washer

Ever since Febreeze came out, people think they don't have to wash their clothes anymore. As if spraying Febreeze on clothes makes them clean. No, it makes it smell fresh even though its not clean. The bottle says "fabric refresher" not "washing machine in a bottle." I once saw this dude take a shirt and literally soak it with febreeze. Not damp, it was soaked. Then he tossed it in the dryer. That's nasty. That shit ain't clean. Then he takes it out, sprays it again, and then irons it. Febreeze is not spray starch either! As soon as the iron hits the shirt, you can smell the funk. I didn't smell it when it came out the dryer but when he started ironing it, the whole room just stank. He had the nerve to claim that the steam is releasing the dirt from the shirt. I think he's been inhaling too much of that dirt in the air. Why does it seem like some people have a phobia of soap and water? If they don't wash their clothes, I think its safe to assume that they probably have bathing at the bottom of their list of priorities. You ain't stuntin if you musty! You ain't ballin if you tart! You ain't pimpin if you pungent. And you ain't clean if you ain't bathed!