HAPPY 420

April Showers Bring...........SNOW???

I was born and raised in Georgia and one thing that you always bet on is our unpredictable weather. Seasons don't matter here. Its April and we have snow! We have 75 degree days in January. Georgia has like a Bermuda Triangle of weather going on. One day it will be nice and sunny. The next day it will get super hot. The next day it will rain. The next day its cloudy and cold. The next day its snow flurries and slush. The next day its sunny again. The meteorologists can sometimes get it right but when they're wrong, its so bad. Today it is snowing. The weather report just said it'll be cold today, didn't mention snow. And when it snows here, its not like snow up north. The snow here is snow as long as its in the air. Once it touches something it melts. So now you got cold wet asphalt. If it gets cold enough to freeze that, then you'll have black ice and accidents and traffic everywhere. But usually it'll just stay wet. The snow here hardly ever sticks and when it does its not much. It'll just looks like somebody salted the city. It was 75 degrees Saturday, raining Monday, and now its snowing on Tuesday. By Thursday or Friday, the temperature will be back in the 70s again. And how do you dress for the weather? Easy, you never pack away any season's clothes. Most people have put up their winter clothes and coats and stuff cause its supposed to be spring. Layering short sleeve shirts under a jacket doesn't work when you're standing at the bus stop or the train station where it can be extremely windy. If you have a car with working heat and AC, you're good. Most people that do, dress how they want. The key is knowing whether or not you'll be outside in the elements. If you're working in an office all day and you'll only go outside to go to lunch or go home, then you dress for the office not the weather. If you work outside, you dress for the weather. If you ride public transportation, you dress for the weather. You have to mix and match your winter and summer clothes here. You just never know. There have been times where the forecast calls for warm sunny day and out of nowhere it'll rain hard as hell. Its crazy. The snow has stopped for now. We'll see how it goes for the rest of the day.

WTF is a GOON?

I don't know if this started with the #1 gay rapper or not but after I heard his "what's a goon to a goblin" line, I keep hearing dudes calling themselves goons. Plies had a line in his new song saying "I'm your goon, you my goonette" (???). Seriously??? COME ON! Well in his case its different cause Plies looks like the deformed offspring of a goon and a goblin, but still. You telling me females are swooning off this shit? Any female who does fall for it, is just as stupid and ignorant as the retard who calls himself that. What happened to being a man? You can't be a man if you're a goon. I was visiting a friend once and he was talking to one of his neighbors. This dude had live in girlfriend AND another girlfriend who had her own place AND a new baby from a third girl. All of whom know about each other (dude would have them all over at the same time!). Anyways, his new baby was a boy and he was telling my friend "this lil nigga gone be a goon." I'm not even gonna go into all the things wrong with that sentence. But I asked my friend why he doesn't try to talk some sense into the dude. My friend said, besides it not being his business, it would be useless. Just from the conversations that they've had before, he knows that nobody can talk sense into the dude. (Oh yeah, the dude was only 19 at the time!). But its that kind of ignorance that breeds more ignorance and thats why we have guys wanting to be stupid. Yeah, they WANT to be stupid. Thats why they drop out of school in pursuit of being a drug kingpin or the next rap star. And the way music is going down the toilet today, the latter is becoming easier to do for the less intelligent. Its getting harder for people who actually make music thats about something to get deals cause the radio is being flooded with garbage (See my previous post called Booty Sounds). Anyways, anyone who wants to be called a goon or goblin or anything besides a man, gets no respect from me.

NOT AN APRIL FOOLS JOKE

678-999-8212

Know what this is? One guy posted this on 800notes.com:

Timothy

I keep getting calls about some satanic club or some gay cult from this number. They keep asking me if I would like to buy some "Soldier Boy" which is completely and utterly disgusting! I have never in my life been so insulted! They have called many times and I am tempted to call an attorney! I DO NOT WISH TO BUY ANY GAY SEX FROM "SOLDIER BOYS"! PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD ABOUT THIS DISGRACEFUL GROUP!

(still lmao on that)

The number is said on the song Kiss Me Thru The Phone by Soulja Boy. If you call, you hear a pre-recorded message that makes you think you're talking to someone when you're not. But the service keeps your number and sends out mass text messages to you. Some people have said they've gotten calls back too. Anyways, just because Mike Jones gave out his real number, stupid people think its Soulja Boy's real phone number. But then again, alot of the people who listen to his stuff (i dont think its music), they are gullible enough to believe it.

Febreeze Is Not A Substitute For a Washer

Ever since Febreeze came out, people think they don't have to wash their clothes anymore. As if spraying Febreeze on clothes makes them clean. No, it makes it smell fresh even though its not clean. The bottle says "fabric refresher" not "washing machine in a bottle." I once saw this dude take a shirt and literally soak it with febreeze. Not damp, it was soaked. Then he tossed it in the dryer. That's nasty. That shit ain't clean. Then he takes it out, sprays it again, and then irons it. Febreeze is not spray starch either! As soon as the iron hits the shirt, you can smell the funk. I didn't smell it when it came out the dryer but when he started ironing it, the whole room just stank. He had the nerve to claim that the steam is releasing the dirt from the shirt. I think he's been inhaling too much of that dirt in the air. Why does it seem like some people have a phobia of soap and water? If they don't wash their clothes, I think its safe to assume that they probably have bathing at the bottom of their list of priorities. You ain't stuntin if you musty! You ain't ballin if you tart! You ain't pimpin if you pungent. And you ain't clean if you ain't bathed!

If it doesn't fit, you must chuck that shit

Remember back in the days, caps had the plastic adjuster on the back. Then there was the fabric strip with the clasp. The purpose of those was to be able to adjust the hat to fit your head. But now we have fitted caps. No need for adjusting, just pick the size of your dome. So can somebody explain to me the logic behind buying a fitted cap that doesn't fit??? Honestly, whats the point? You've seen these retards walking around with caps so big that it looks like they're wearing a salad bowl. You can't see their face, all you see is their lips and chin, if that. And I know they can't see either. And who the hell started doing this shit where you just lay the cap on your head? If that ain't some stupid shit! It ain't even really on their heads, its just floating. And they always gotta keep adjusting it so that it floats just right. From what I've seen I think its supposed to float on the side instead of the top but for what? Sometimes I wonder if any of them has a protrusion they want to cover up, like the little girl on the Oblongs. And then some of them don't even wash the caps. I've seen the dirty ass caps with the brown ring on the inside. (The brown ring will show up on any color). The cap is always musty and moist and steamy. That's nasty. And I've seen some guys try to clean their caps and it just looks retarded. This one dude used a toothbrush to clean the brown ring and then just wiped off the soap. He only touched that inside strip and nothing else. The cap is still musty smelling so he febreezed it. When are people going to learn that febreezing something is not a substitute for a good washing? Caps need to be washed too. There is a way to wash a cap without losing its shape but I guess some people just don't think or don't care. And they wonder why their foreheads and necks are always itching. But that could be another problem lol

Waiting for Warfare

I can smell your wicked rigor mortis a mile from the morgue. The scorn in your soul may tell you to humiliate your enemies. Have not you read the Art of War? Absent minded to the enduring, pouring your cup of damnation in the midst of my world. You gotta be out your monkey ass mind. No more will the look of Medusa seduce the predecessors and entrepreneurs. --Bizzy Bone

Soon To Be Famous Quotes

Sayings from friends, associates, and such:

How can you be the shit without going thru the ass? - XPJ7

Control isn't telling someone what to do. It's removing all options to define their choices. - Anon

If you can't keep up, keep it moving - Butta

Even though you look better than her, doesn't mean that you're better than her. - Fatality

If you don't like the A, then you don't like me. - C Squad

Life's not a bitch, life is a beautiful woman! you only call her a bitch cuz she won't let you get that pussy! - Aesop rock - daylight

--more to come-- ---or add you own---

Personal Therapist

Some of my friends come to me to vent their frustrations. They just need someone to listen to them as they rant and rave about things going on in their lives. That's the kind of friend I am, I'm a listener. But the problem I have with a select few of them as when they ask me for advice and then don't take it only to come back to me complaining about the same problems (you know who you are). I assume you value my opinion, which is why you would ask me in the first place but honestly, I don't dish out gems of wisdom for my own listening enjoyment. I have no problem listening to you but I do have a problem when you ask for advice and don't take it. True, you don't have to take my advice but why ask for it if you aren't even gonna do it? If I got paid for every time I played personal therapist I could seriously consider quitting my job and doing this full time. One person in particular was having man troubles and I was friends with the guy as well. So when she calls me to complain about him, he calls me on the other line to complain about her. My phone bill was sky high for that month and I told both of them to give me money to pay my bill (yeah I'm still waiting on it but I don't let them forget it). Some of my friends like to play the "what if" game aka the "I have a friend who..." game as if I don't already know they are talking about themselves and the same situation that they been calling me about. Like I tell them all, don't ask me questions like that because if I were in that situation, it wouldn't have gotten to where it is because I would have already done X, Y, and Z. So by now, the situation would be totally different from where you are and where I would be, hypothetically. When I give advice, I think about what that person would do, not what I would do. I've known these people for years and I know their personalities so my advice is catered specifically to them. I could tell you what I would do but you aren't me and you won't do it. Hell, you already don't listen to the advice I give you. With some of them, they already know what the problem is and usually the solution is something simple but not something they want to do so they want more options. But if you know what you need to do, why don't you do it instead of wasting my time looking for another way out? I said I would listen but its a waste of my time to continuously listen to the same problems get worse even after you asked me for advice AND told me you know what the problem is. So its almost like what am I really there for? Anyways, I've started telling some of my friends (the ones that call regularly) that I'm charging a fee for my services. If your life is outta whack, and you want my help, its gonna cost you. Not much but I ain't doing it for free no more. That'll stop them from calling me lol

I Could Poison You

Why do people go into the refrigerator and eat someone else's food? Especially if you don't even know what it is? We are all adults here at my job (or at least I think most of us are). What ever happened to asking? If you're hungry and have no money to eat, ask someone for some change to raid the vending machine or ask if someone has enough food to share. Maybe I'm the only one here who had proper home training and learned not to touch things in the fridge that aren't yours. Now, I'd be well within my rights to put rat poison in some food and put it in the fridge. If someone gets sick from it, oh well. Shouldn't have been eating something that wasn't yours. THAT'LL TEACH YOU NOT TO TOUCH MY SHIT

(we'll see how the "experiment" goes)